Back.. kind of

Well, I'm home. I have been for a couple days, but the day I got home I dropped my iBook and broke my power adapter in the landing. Leave it to Apple to build a sturdy laptop, but I wish they would put some work into their adapters. Anyway, I've ordered a new one and it's on it's way, but since it was cheaper to order a generic adapter online then to go with the Mac one, I have to wait on the postal service. I have many pictures to update and many stories to tell, I just hope I don't forget them all. 

Vacation..

I'm gone to the lake house for the week. I'll be back. If I find connection I'll update with pictures, otherwise, the iBook will only charge the shuffle!

Have a great week!

And the vacation begins today...

My parents have just left to the lake house to begin vacation. I go up Sunday after church. But do you know what this means? No, not a party, I'm over that. 

It means I can begin my remodeling of the living room. I can begin stripping the paint off the tin ceiling. I can begin taking down the ugly paneling and painting the walls. 

And of course I have stocked the fridge full of rum and wine because honestly, how else would I get this done. I have Kanye blasting away, a glass of chilled wine calling my name and a chocolate cream pie for dinner in the fridge. 

Oh yes, vacation has begun!

Olympics

In watching the Olympics, I love the men. The love the men diving in those sexy speedos. OMG. 

I love watching Phelps swim. OMG, I would so hit that. Oh please, you know you would do. I am not yet tired of the endless stories about him. And did I mention the men's diving and their speedos? Mmmm hmm. 

Morning Note

As i was about to leave for work this morning, I noticed this note my mom left for me. 

I opened it up to reveal this:

I almost died laughing. I got a free sample of panty liners in the mail yesterday and as she was talking to her friend yesterday afternoon in the kitchen I was all like, here you go and after her friend left she teased me about handing them out in front of everyone. So this was just great. 

I love my mom. She flippin rocks the casbah. 

Sleep deprived.

I am so tired. So so so tired. I didn't sleep very well last night and today Sarah started having contractions. It turned out to be a false alarm, but exciting and everything that goes with it. And now, I'm tired. I'm not even the one having the baby and it's already worn me out!

Just like a train wreck

You know how when you're driving down the freeway and there's an accident off to the side and you can't help but stare, taking it all in. You know the possibility for it to be unimaginably gory lies there, but still you can't stop yourself. Well, that's how I feel about my love life right now. And I use the word love lightly, almost for the lack of a better term. Almost.

Remember about a week ago, when I posted about my date with that really hot guy? The one that's 6'4", 200 lbs of pure sleek and sexy muscle. The one that says everything right, all the time, at the perfect moment. Well, he hadn't called all week, and I was really excited about that. Of course I was really disappointed as well, but knowing that I had averted a heart ache was comforting. Until yesterday. When he called. At 9:26 in the morning. Right before church. And called back after I sent him to voicemail. And then left a message saying he's been sick with strep and that he missed me and that he hopes he gets to talk to me soon. 

Yeah. 

He called back later last night and we talked and it was really nice, too nice. And he said all the right things, at the perfect moments, again. And I felt my stomach to twist all into a bunch again. 

Yeah.

I really hope he doesn't call tonight. I mean that. 

See, the thing is, I can totally see how this ends. And it's not very good. And I'll tell you, it definitely ends with me all sad and hurt and upset and even though I know this and can totally foresee this happening, I can not stop myself. I can't say no. There's something there, it's like a magnet. And he knows how I feel. I told him upfront on date one that I was feeling something and I will have feelings and they will happen really quick. I could see it coming even then. And he says he's okay with this. No, really, like he says it back okay with it. And then last night when I was sexy talking to him, because, hello, he's that hot and you would so totally do it too, he was saying how he wanted to be the best lover ever. And I was like, uhm, hello, have you seen you? Seriously. But no, I told him it was nearly impossible, but if he could make it to the top slot he better be ready to be stuck with me for a while and you know what he said? 

I wouldn't mind that at all. Would you?

Some things worth noting

My mom made the best dinner tonight, meatloaf and corn and baked potatoes and gravy. It was de-lish. But, anyway, as I was floating around the 'net today I found a couple things that I wanted to share. 

I go on vacation next Sunday to the lake house with the family, it's a good thing I don't get internet up there. I do bring my iBook though to charge my Shuffle.. I hope that doesn't count. You can read that full story here. 

I feel much better about having the same password for everything. You can find that story here.

A couple I forgot

I cleaned my room. I need more room for my shoes. 

I'm a geek and looooove making cards. This is the kitchen table last night with all my supplies spread out getting ready to make one for my friends baby shower.

Final product! How cute is it? And it lights up! YAY! The basket in the background is her gift that we put together. All sorts of crafty. 

Photo Album

I've had some pictures on my camera that I've been meaning to upload and post. Well, I finally did it, so here are they are.

A Day At The Beach

The sun hides behind a cloud

We had some pretty big waves that day, for New Hampshire. 

The best friend

Feet in the sand

There was a mist on the beach all day

The I got artistic and played with black and white:

A boat in the far distance

People

More people

Some rocks just chillin.

A Trip To Check On The Lake House

Such an amazing sunset that night. 

The view in front of me

The next two pictures are why I went to check on the lake house. You can read about the story here.

 

Back!

I am back! Okay, not that I was ever gone, but my modem totally died. Well, I guess the modem didn't die, it was just something with the connection outside because of the stores we've had? Either way, I am back! I have the modem in my room and I totally had to clean my room today because Comcast was coming. I don't have any before pictures, but I have some afters that I will post tomorrow. Anyway, today was a crazy busy day for me and I need to sleep. I have to get up early for church and then a baby shower. Yay! haha. 

You have got to be kidding me

In an attempt to make up for all the ice cream I could not eat when I had my tonsils removed eight years ago, I make a trek to Rite-Aid down the street for a pint of Ben & Jerry's. 

(On a side note: Is it just me or do all the greatest things come sized by pints? Beer. Ice Cream. )

So back to my story. While I was there I stopped by the summer seasonal aisle because Summer is starting to wind down here on the east coast and I was hoping they'd have some good clearance. They of course, did not, but while I was in the aisle this girl walked by with her mother complaining that she was pregnant and her mother was going too fast. The girl looked 12. Seriously, I had to pick my jaw up off the ground. But, these things happen so after taking a second to regain my composure, I continued on. 

Now, I don't live in the best town ever. It's the biggest city in this state, which really doesn't mean much at all. I live on a rather nice block surrounded by other rather decent blocks, but mixed in there are a lot of really scummy people. As with anywhere I'm sure. The city has gone a long way towards making this area a better place to live, and for that I'm grateful. However, like I said, there are some scummy people. 

As I was at the register buying my ice cream and ginger ale (I needed a break from my Ginger Tea) the same girl comes up behind me talking to her mother about what kind of cigarettes she wants. I'm serious. She smoked all of someone else's and now it's time for her own. I can't even tell you how mad I got when I heard her. It took every single thing I had in me to not say something. I just wanted to look at her and be like, are you serious right now?

I try my best to not judge any one, none of us are perfect and I'll be the first to admit any of my 100+ faults. But wow. It's not like we're in the 1930s and the information about the damage that can be done to unborn fetus' doesn't exist. It's every where. EVERY WHERE. If she wants to take up smoking the second she pops that baby out, fine, that's her choice, but that little baby doesn't have a choice right now. And I'm sorry, but it's people like that who shouldn't be allowed to have their kids. What's the difference between her baby and a crack baby? I don't see a big one. I don't even see a big difference between what's she's doing now and giving her child a good beating. Education has gone a long way in terms of discouraging this kind of stuff and maybe it would be pointless to make any kind of law against this. I mean honestly, if the concern of her unborn child's well-being is not enough to keep her from smoking, I really doubt anything is. But I'm just so mad at this girl right now!

The only thing I can do is pray that the baby will be born okay and hopefully it's parents won't f it up too much. I'm sure that's just wishful thinking though. Ugh. 

Ginger Tea

What are your thoughts on Ginger tea?

Oh Ginger Tea, drink not of the gods. 

You are spicy and yellow and full of fight

Oh Ginger Tea, I drink you with a nod

You are so sweet with some honey but still so full of bite,

If I didn't feel so sick, you would not be going in this bod. 

Oh Ginger Tea, drink not of the gods. 

haha. That's by Ginger Tea poem. What do you think? I've been drinking in with some honey and it seems to help my nausea, but man, it is not good. I mean, it is, but I feel like I'm drinking liquid wasabi or something. 

Update

I've survived on teaspoons of honey, pieces of sugared ginger and chicken noodle soup. The honey helps the throat, the ginger lets me eat the chicken noodle soup which also helps the throat and stops my stomach from growling. Oh, and naps. There are not enough naps in the world! The down side.. my fever is up 100.4 without Tylenol. With Tylenol 99.6 Very sad. 

West Nile Virus

I have it. No, seriously. Hear me out before you start with the oh my goodness you are crazy girl. 

First, for the past week I had the poops which ended a couple days ago, but I couldn't attribute it to anything that I ate. I know my body disturbingly well, like I always know what I eat that causes that stuff and it was attributed to anything. I ate all normal stuff. And it wasn't like my normal poops either, I'll leave it at that. That ended a couple days ago, thankfully. 

But, a couple days ago I started with a sore throat and nausea. Like, wicked nausea. Everything I try to eat anything I feel disgustingly sick and want to puke it up, but I don't. I relate it to that feeling when you're really really really really hungry and you feel pukey sick, but you know you just need to eat. It's that feeling, except it keeps me from eating. I get through a couple bites and I just have to stop. I can't even work through it. Unless I eat cake.. maybe there is an upside after all? But my throat keeps getting more and more sore and tender and now feels like the whole left jugular side is a giant bruise. 

Also starting a couple days ago was a fever. A low grade fever, the highest it's gotten so far is 99.4, but I never run fevers. Well, hardly hardly ever. Unless I have the flu and then it's like 103. Normally I average in the 97.6 range. 

And, I'm tired. I worked 4:30-12:30 yesterday, came home and took a 3 hour nap. Then I was still really tired and went back to sleep at 9 and slept until 9 this morning when Mum came to check on me. I did wake up throughout this time frame for activities like being and eating honey. But seriously, a three hour nap followed by 12 hours of sleep? Something is wrong. 

And to top it all off, about a week and half ago, I got 11 mosquito bites in one night. The covered my body including my cheek. 

So that's my story, now here's the symptoms of WNV:
Mild infection signs and symptoms
About 20 percent of people develop a mild infection called West Nile fever. Common signs and symptoms of West Nile fever include:

• Skin rash
  
• Headache
  
• Fever
  
• Diarrhea
  
• Nausea
  
• Vomiting
  
• Backache
  
• Muscle aches
  
• Lack of appetite
  
• Swollen lymph glands
  

Those look like pretty good odds to me. The good thing is that although I feel as though I want to die, I won't. The bad thing is that there is nothing the Dr. can do, my body just has to fight it by itself. 

This is very sad. :( 

I don't feel good.

I think that I am getting sick. Not so good. My throat is killing me and I have a little temp. I'm going to sleep some. I already took tylenol. :( Very sad. I hate being sick!

Cause it's all been said

She called me late last night, to say she loved me so
It didn't matter anymore,
I say she never cared
And that she never will,
I'd do it all again
I guess I'll have to wait until then

And if I get drunk well, I'll pass out
On the floor now baby
You won't bother me no more
And if you're drinkin' well, you know
That you're my friend and I say
I think I'll have myself a beer

She called me late last night, to say she loved me so
but I guess you changed her mind.
Well I should have known, it wouldn't be all right,
but I can't live without her
So I won't even try...

And if I get drunk well, I'll pass out
On the floor now baby
You won't bother me no more
And if you're drinkin' well, you know
That you're my friend and I say
I think I'll have myself a beer

Maybe some day, I'll think of what to say
Maybe next time I'll remember what to do
She looks like heaven, maybe this is hell
Said she'd do it all again, she'd promise not to tell!

And if I get drunk well, I'll pass out
On the floor now baby
You won't bother me no more
she said,
it's okay boy cause you know
we'll be go friends and I say
I think I'll have myself a beer
I think I'll have myself a beer

-Beer, Reel Big Fish

That's how I feel right about now. 

And you should download Soco Amaretto Lime from Brand New

He likes me, he likes me not

I think he likes me. 

As I was leaving last night to head home, he told me he would call in 20 to make sure I got home okay. He lives in the next big town south of me, which takes about 30 minutes on the freeway to get to. The whole time he said this I was of course thinking, uhmmmm riiiight. Ooookay, whatever you say, but secretly hoping of course that he would. Well, he did. And 20 minutes later he called again, just because he was kinda wishing I was still there. That might be a little stalkerish, but he's so hot that I am practically begging him to stalk me. Please, please, please, stalk me. Please. 

He called again this morning at 10:30 while I was driving North to the lake, then this afternoon to see what I was doing because his friend called and he wanted to make sure I had plans, otherwise he would hang out with me. And then tonight while he was driving home just to say hi. I didn't think he'd call at all honestly and I was sure that he thought I was crazy when I told him last night that I know I'm going to get feelings for him pretty quick. I was pretty sure he was lying when he told me a little while later that he might get feelings for me pretty quick too. Maybe he's not?

Yes, I realize that's a lot of calls, but I like that stuff. I like to feel connected with the other person. I need that stuff. I hate feeling like I did with Golfpro and having everything so separate. I still feel like this won't work out, it's impossible, I'll mess it up somehow, but so far, I just like knowing I'm liked. It's a good feeling to be liked. Or at least the possibility of being liked is a good feeling. 

I guess I'll have myself a beer

Do you ever just feel so scared and confused and lost in life? That's me right now. First, let me say that I love his sweater and am very jealous it's on him and not me... 

Very. Jealous. 

I met a boy last night. Okay, he's not a boy, he's 30, takes my breath completely away and he scares me to death. Looking in his eyes makes me hyperventilate. 

I sent my last text message to Golfpro telling him I hate him for everything and thanks for breaking a perfect heart. He wrote me back this morning say he did nothing and this is just me being me. F.U.C.K. Y.O.U. And... I just hurt. But I still can't cry. I want to just key his car, throw paint cans at him, something, anything so he can hurt as much as I do. He never will though because that's just him. And the sad part of it all is that when I look at the person he was when I first fell in love with, I don't even recognize who he is now, he's such a shell of the amazing person he used to be, but even with that, still I hurt. Right now I just really really hate him. I really don't think I can ever do this again with him. I totally opened myself to him and let my guard down, look where that got me.

But, I met a boy last night that scares the life out of me. He can break me. And I don't want him too, but wow. Have you ever felt that? I really doubt it will lead to anything serious, but this feeling I feel. Wow. I just feel like I can't get enough of him, he's intoxicating. 

And now I sound like a stalker. Grrrreat.