Sleep deprived.

I am so tired. So so so tired. I didn't sleep very well last night and today Sarah started having contractions. It turned out to be a false alarm, but exciting and everything that goes with it. And now, I'm tired. I'm not even the one having the baby and it's already worn me out!

Just like a train wreck

You know how when you're driving down the freeway and there's an accident off to the side and you can't help but stare, taking it all in. You know the possibility for it to be unimaginably gory lies there, but still you can't stop yourself. Well, that's how I feel about my love life right now. And I use the word love lightly, almost for the lack of a better term. Almost.

Remember about a week ago, when I posted about my date with that really hot guy? The one that's 6'4", 200 lbs of pure sleek and sexy muscle. The one that says everything right, all the time, at the perfect moment. Well, he hadn't called all week, and I was really excited about that. Of course I was really disappointed as well, but knowing that I had averted a heart ache was comforting. Until yesterday. When he called. At 9:26 in the morning. Right before church. And called back after I sent him to voicemail. And then left a message saying he's been sick with strep and that he missed me and that he hopes he gets to talk to me soon. 

Yeah. 

He called back later last night and we talked and it was really nice, too nice. And he said all the right things, at the perfect moments, again. And I felt my stomach to twist all into a bunch again. 

Yeah.

I really hope he doesn't call tonight. I mean that. 

See, the thing is, I can totally see how this ends. And it's not very good. And I'll tell you, it definitely ends with me all sad and hurt and upset and even though I know this and can totally foresee this happening, I can not stop myself. I can't say no. There's something there, it's like a magnet. And he knows how I feel. I told him upfront on date one that I was feeling something and I will have feelings and they will happen really quick. I could see it coming even then. And he says he's okay with this. No, really, like he says it back okay with it. And then last night when I was sexy talking to him, because, hello, he's that hot and you would so totally do it too, he was saying how he wanted to be the best lover ever. And I was like, uhm, hello, have you seen you? Seriously. But no, I told him it was nearly impossible, but if he could make it to the top slot he better be ready to be stuck with me for a while and you know what he said? 

I wouldn't mind that at all. Would you?

Some things worth noting

My mom made the best dinner tonight, meatloaf and corn and baked potatoes and gravy. It was de-lish. But, anyway, as I was floating around the 'net today I found a couple things that I wanted to share. 

I go on vacation next Sunday to the lake house with the family, it's a good thing I don't get internet up there. I do bring my iBook though to charge my Shuffle.. I hope that doesn't count. You can read that full story here. 

I feel much better about having the same password for everything. You can find that story here.

A couple I forgot

I cleaned my room. I need more room for my shoes. 

I'm a geek and looooove making cards. This is the kitchen table last night with all my supplies spread out getting ready to make one for my friends baby shower.

Final product! How cute is it? And it lights up! YAY! The basket in the background is her gift that we put together. All sorts of crafty. 

Photo Album

I've had some pictures on my camera that I've been meaning to upload and post. Well, I finally did it, so here are they are.

A Day At The Beach

The sun hides behind a cloud

We had some pretty big waves that day, for New Hampshire. 

The best friend

Feet in the sand

There was a mist on the beach all day

The I got artistic and played with black and white:

A boat in the far distance

People

More people

Some rocks just chillin.

A Trip To Check On The Lake House

Such an amazing sunset that night. 

The view in front of me

The next two pictures are why I went to check on the lake house. You can read about the story here.

 

Back!

I am back! Okay, not that I was ever gone, but my modem totally died. Well, I guess the modem didn't die, it was just something with the connection outside because of the stores we've had? Either way, I am back! I have the modem in my room and I totally had to clean my room today because Comcast was coming. I don't have any before pictures, but I have some afters that I will post tomorrow. Anyway, today was a crazy busy day for me and I need to sleep. I have to get up early for church and then a baby shower. Yay! haha. 

You have got to be kidding me

In an attempt to make up for all the ice cream I could not eat when I had my tonsils removed eight years ago, I make a trek to Rite-Aid down the street for a pint of Ben & Jerry's. 

(On a side note: Is it just me or do all the greatest things come sized by pints? Beer. Ice Cream. )

So back to my story. While I was there I stopped by the summer seasonal aisle because Summer is starting to wind down here on the east coast and I was hoping they'd have some good clearance. They of course, did not, but while I was in the aisle this girl walked by with her mother complaining that she was pregnant and her mother was going too fast. The girl looked 12. Seriously, I had to pick my jaw up off the ground. But, these things happen so after taking a second to regain my composure, I continued on. 

Now, I don't live in the best town ever. It's the biggest city in this state, which really doesn't mean much at all. I live on a rather nice block surrounded by other rather decent blocks, but mixed in there are a lot of really scummy people. As with anywhere I'm sure. The city has gone a long way towards making this area a better place to live, and for that I'm grateful. However, like I said, there are some scummy people. 

As I was at the register buying my ice cream and ginger ale (I needed a break from my Ginger Tea) the same girl comes up behind me talking to her mother about what kind of cigarettes she wants. I'm serious. She smoked all of someone else's and now it's time for her own. I can't even tell you how mad I got when I heard her. It took every single thing I had in me to not say something. I just wanted to look at her and be like, are you serious right now?

I try my best to not judge any one, none of us are perfect and I'll be the first to admit any of my 100+ faults. But wow. It's not like we're in the 1930s and the information about the damage that can be done to unborn fetus' doesn't exist. It's every where. EVERY WHERE. If she wants to take up smoking the second she pops that baby out, fine, that's her choice, but that little baby doesn't have a choice right now. And I'm sorry, but it's people like that who shouldn't be allowed to have their kids. What's the difference between her baby and a crack baby? I don't see a big one. I don't even see a big difference between what's she's doing now and giving her child a good beating. Education has gone a long way in terms of discouraging this kind of stuff and maybe it would be pointless to make any kind of law against this. I mean honestly, if the concern of her unborn child's well-being is not enough to keep her from smoking, I really doubt anything is. But I'm just so mad at this girl right now!

The only thing I can do is pray that the baby will be born okay and hopefully it's parents won't f it up too much. I'm sure that's just wishful thinking though. Ugh.