actually pretty nice. Well, kind of. I had to work and that part sucked. I didn't have my car either (I just got it back today) and that part sucked too.
Friday night I met up with my best friend, C, and we went out for our usual Friday night thing. Well, she ended up spending the night talking to Mr. H's brother. I'm a pretty social person and I tried talking to the guys around me, but they were all half-retarded so I called my mom and made her come get me. No shame.
I just really wanted to go home. Whatever works for them, it's going to be a little weird in the future, but whatever.
Mr. H also called me Friday night, before C and I had ever ventured out. He just wanted to say thanks for everything and apologize for how things turned out. It ended amicably and it was nice. At least if I see him out we'll be on friendly(-er) terms now and that's a nice feeling. It's not the biggest city, but it definitely messed up my head for the rest of the night, and the next morning as well. I just kept thinking maybe I have it all wrong. You know, that feeling that you get when someone you really care(d) about just pops back into the picture. You start questioning yourself, second guessing yourself. Did I make the right decision? Should I have done something else? I couldn't figure it out and so on my way to work Saturday morning I prayed about it- asked God to help me figure out what the heck to do, show me where I should be.
Around 11 that morning my golfpro (formally referred to as Mr. B, I changed his name!) sent me a little text message asking me how work was going, I told him it was alright, nothing too great. He asked if we were still on for that night (Saturday) and I told him that my car was still in the shop so I don't think it will work out. He'd have to pick me up and drop me off and all that jazz, but instead of being like oh- okay, he asked what time I was out of work. I told him 7 and he was like alright, I'll pick you up at 7. I was just stunned. It's about a 45 minute drive from his house to where I work. That was my answer and I knew it. I felt at peace. Ask and you shall receive, right? But it just gets better.
So after he picked me up, he dropped me off at home so I could shower, which was cool because I was just going to ask to use his, and he has nice shampoo so I would've made due, but he knows how I feel about all my stuff, so he dropped me at the door. While I was showering he went about bought stuff to make dinner. He picked me up again from my house and we drove to his house and then he cooked me dinner. I had such a fantastic time. He blessed me with clean-up duty, which was totally fine and as I was washing dishes I was like, "Look baby, we're playing house!" and he just laughed and was like, "Yes, honey, we are." It was just one of those moments. And so after dinner and dessert and me cleaning up we headed up stars and tucked in for the night.
The next morning we woke up and he got ready to take me all the way back to work. He asked if I wanted some left over dessert for a snack at work and I said yes and then he asked if I wanted some left over dinner for lunch and I asked if he had a container for it and he said he did so I said yes. And with that he packed me a little lunch and off we went. We stopped for coffee on the way at Dunkin's, my treat, and off we went.
We figured out that we've been doing this for 6 years now. Six. Seriously. I can't believe it myself really, but in these past 6 years I can honestly say it's never felt this way. I've never been so open to him and to us. I contribute part of that to just finally being ready. To finally being mature enough to accept it, but I also contribute it to church and God. I recently read Love and Respect which is a faith based book on marriage. And while it is on marriage, it really applies to all relationships. But, really this book just totally opened my eyes and made me realize a lot. As soon as I finished I sent a text to golfpro apologizing for being so selfish and disrespectful for the past 6 years. And really I have been. I've noticed a change in our relationship ever since that conversation. He called later that night and we talked about it, and things have definitely shifted. I'm not saying we'll stay together and work out this time, who knows really, but I can honestly say that I am more open to life with him and more appreciative of all the little things he does for me. And there's a lot.
So that's that. That was my weekend. I hope yours was really great too. I'm going to hop in my car now (because it's here and I can) and go buy some ice cream. Any suggestions? I'm feeling Ben and Jerry's.
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